The Latest News, Views, and Gurus
Vol. 1, No. 3
Hello Readers,
It’s us again – Ann Leach and Michelle Beaulieu Pillen, co-authors of
Goal Sisters: Live the Life You Want With A Little Help From Your Friends, delivering our monthly newsletter to you from our book’s online home at
www.goalsisters.com.
This newsletter is our way of keeping in touch and supporting you along your path to goal success! Please forward it to women who are ready to amp up the fun and focus in their friendships while transforming themselves and their lives.
* * FEELING A LITTLE BATTY? * *
At a recent Goal Sisters group meeting the discussion turned to feeling overwhelmed with all the positive yet stressful offerings our lives provide. We reminded each other to lighten up on ourselves and take steps to protect our ‘me time’! Member Jeanine’s 14-year old daughter had accompanied her mom to group and was listening quietly until she just had to say, “Mom, so much of your time is spent helping me with my goals that I think you need to give yourself time to work on yours!” Thanks, Steffanie, for nudging all of us!
Besides giving yourself more “me time,” what else can you do? Check out Ann’s 4 tips to coping with feeling overwhelmed on our
What’s New? page.
* * MICHELLE’S STORY * *
Notice any personal demons plaguing you lately? Not like the demons in scary movies, but the demons I define as “any actions and thinking you do repeatedly that results in you living out of balance.” THOSE demons! Whenever I find myself noticing my friends’ personal demons - and feeling an urge to offer unsolicited advice - I know it’s time to attend to my own personal demons.
I have several to choose from. There’s the demon that keeps me captive at my computer for 10 to 12 hours, the demon that urges me to procrastinate when I have 3 or more competing deadlines, and one of my all time favorite demons – the demon that undermines my attempts to make positive changes in my life.
So, what do I do when my personal demons set up temporary residence? I try not to ignore them and I resist running away from them. Instead, I attempt to understand and figure out how I can respond differently in order to achieve my goals.
* * ACTIVITY: GET TO KNOW YOUR DEMONS * *
1. Get a pen and your journal, and head to your favorite chair. Spend 15 minutes reviewing a recent list of your goals. Are you having a hard time getting and staying motivated with some of your goals? If so, which emotions (e.g., fears, depression), thoughts (e.g., self-doubts), and actions are stalling your efforts? Write about them now.
2. Choose a goal you’ve attempted to achieve, with little to no success. Flip to a blank page in your journal, write that goal at the top of the page, and draw a vertical line down the middle of the page. On the left side of the line, write “Strategies I’ve tried” and on the right side, “Results.” Complete both sides of the page using the goal you’ve selected.
Example: Exercise daily for 30 minutes.
Strategies I’ve tried
- Walk after dinner
- Give myself a treat if I exercise 3x/week
- Promise myself to start my new routine tomorrow
Results
- Felt too tired and watched television
- Exercised once but gave myself the treat anyway b/c it was a frustrating week
- Pretended I never said that and went about my regular day
Now, it’s your turn. Write the strategies you’ve tried and the results you’ve had.
3. For each result you’ve listed, ask yourself: What does (this result) make me think about myself? For example, when I ‘felt too tired and watched television’ instead of exercising for 30 minutes, I might think the following about myself:
~ I am never going to get my act in gear around exercising
~ I am a fat, lazy slob
~ I am worthless
Write down the thoughts you have about yourself for each of your results.
4. Look at your negative thoughts. Ask yourself: Instead of having these negative thoughts about myself, what would I rather think about myself? Using the same example, I might generate this list of positive thoughts:
~ I tackled some difficult issues today and feel stronger because of it
~ I may not be as fit as I want to be, but I’ve accomplished other things in my life
~ I’m not worthless – I’m a valuable person at work, in my church, and in my family
Write down positive thoughts you’d rather have about yourself.
5. Look at your lists of positive and negative thoughts. Which thoughts about yourself – negative or positive - are likely to support your strategies? If you connect your positive thoughts with your strategies, what would you be able to do that you are not doing now?
6. Speaking of strategies, review each one and ask yourself: Is this strategy realistic for me to attempt now? Can I pare it back? Positive thinking people tend to be more flexible and realistic in assessing themselves and their efforts. On a new journal page, write your goal across the top and modify your strategies to better fit with your new outlook. Using the same example, I might generate this list of strategies and thoughts:
~ Walk for 15 minutes after dinner and take stock of my day’s successes
~ Compliment myself for persevering through my daily obstacles and fitting in exercise
~ Give myself a treat after every 15 minutes of exercise I accomplish
For the next week, practice using your positive thoughts as you set in motion your new goal strategies. Notice if your results change, and email us with your feedback!
* * ATTENTION GRABBING GURUS * *
Our featured guru this month is Teena Jones, radio host extraordinaire of The Teena Jones Show on KMSR 990 AM in Dallas, Texas. Recently, Teena shared the meaning behind one of her favorite quotes: “Love what you have to get what you love.” She encouraged us to do our best at whatever we’re doing - washing dishes, raising children, meeting deadlines. That way, when we achieve our goals, we’re less likely to experience “is that all there is?” and more likely to feel “what a crowning moment to years of practicing lovingkindness!”
Thanks Teena, for your empowering message and enduring spirit! Link to Teena’s radio show over the internet on our
Media Zone page.
* * GOAL SISTERS HAPPENINGS * *
The third Joplin MO Goal Sisters group is half way through their 8-week program and will begin working on their treasure collages next week! Here’s how several members are feeling about the Goal Sister process:
Being friendly, supportive and holding me accountable are some of the great ways my Sisters have helped me. These wonderful women help each other with resources and concrete suggestions that really work! - Jeanine Ash
Goal Sisters has helped me focus on the important things in life and to set goals to accomplish them. - Sharon Myers
The group has helped me realize I am not alone in all that I want to do. Ann helps us put our dreams into action. - Lee Radcliff
That’s all for now! Please continue to stop by our site for updates and sharing, and let us know how you’re doing. We’ll continue supporting you as you take the small steps toward your big goals and celebrate your goal successes with you!
Onward and upward,
Ann and
Michelle
Copyright © 2004 by Ann Leach and Michelle Beaulieu Pillen, Ph.D. All rights reserved. No part of this Web site may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise.
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